Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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