Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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