I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The beers last night were like the tears from god
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
