I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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