do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
