that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
