but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sarcasm needs its own font
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
