I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
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It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful