thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize