I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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