He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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