Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize