Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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