So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
