Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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