did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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