those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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