I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
