cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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