why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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