Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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