Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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