I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
