He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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