Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
