Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
