Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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