shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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