I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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