guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
