I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dignity is for republicans.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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