did you get engaged???
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I FOUND THE LEGS
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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