she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
