I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
