Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize