I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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