At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Fuck appropriateness.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
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Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize