How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
