so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
