he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
