: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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