on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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