youre lurking in front of me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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