btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
