Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
