Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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