i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
