i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Say something about gay babies.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
