I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
