Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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