Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Shame is for Republicans.
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