Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
