it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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