birth control should be required to get into college
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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